binge feeling.

O hell this feeling that is so familiar

but so goddamn mysterious!!

I told the watchman that I am not who he thinks I am;

I am not the one stealing the hearts of many

I am the one who is just an ever-present spectator

Do not tell me that I am the one who everyone is out to get,

because if they really knew they know my conscience is shit

I do not know why I have this lack of motivation

maybe it is the man that stole it from me years ago

the saint, the sinner, the all-mighty face that I do not know

Who are you, man of lore??

You steal the minds of men and chuckle when everything comes crushing down!!

Why do you feel the need to ruin that which has already gone awry??

Pick up your clothes and curl your toes

run to class and don’t be late

I am not a fraud

I set out to serve humanity and all of its various arms and branches

O! But if I could only remember why I came here in the first place!

Did I toss away my only shot at redemption?

The halfway point has come and gone

and the only part I have left is the shattered piece of heart that you left me with

Who am I?

am I here to fail and to set an example for others?

Why must I medicate and therapeutically go throughout life?

Taking chemicals to correct this divine imbalance I seem to have been blessed with??

Is it a blessing or rather a curse?

Life is so fragile and wretched!! Is that why I am afraid to live??

Help me, savior!! O Lord, O God! Where art thou in my times of trouble??

When I know I cannot and will not be able to go on!!

I raise my arms in an attempt to brush against you.

but you are no where within my reach.

I will not allow anyone to ruin me.