everyone get out

i wish i could tell everyone in my life to just fuck off
to get out because im a mess and its all collapsing
everything ive ever done is coming back to stab me in the back
the lies i told under pressure
the help i received because i thought it was the only one
spending the next three-quarters of the life ive already lived in chains and in shackles
make me a slave!
fucking 12 years basically!
maybe i'll get some time off for good behavior
but i'm already planning on overdosing six months down the road
and becoming a drunken mess in two days

i'd much rather put a bullet in my brain than face the music
because it's already so loud and i can't control what i do or say
well i can because i've become so adept at telling lies
and i'm not going to publish this piece for
they say i'll be shackled
i can't follow my dreams
i can't do anything

i just wanna sell out my funeral and i doubt i will get three people with the way life is going
and that's including me and the pastor by the way
i wanna just go to my happy place which i'm not allowed to anymore
my parents are going to be dead by the time i have kids now
and i won't get to know my grandkids

i was just happy to be a contender until i realized what exactly that meant