Excited and Nervous

Another monotonous day
Just living for happiness
Waiting for my life to merge with my dreams
Where we’re together, happy, and free
Free of all doubt
I snap back to reality
I look across the room
Trying not to catch your eyes
See your face
It comforts me and for a minute, I let go
Of all the things
Both present and past
Those things that make me sick
And make the face in the mirror go aghast
And to think that you could be so oblivious
You were innocent and now you are lascivious
Is there even such a thing as true love?
I thought you were sent from above,
I guess not.
Store-bought.
Pre-made.
I’m afraid.
The still steady beat of the drum in the battleground brings me back to where I am.
I’m here you’re there.
The barrier between us is immense and I cannot breach it.
You’ve found a new ally.
I can’t break your alliance, so I turn away.
I’m through.
Fall back on my friends who love me in a way impossible for you.
A way that your mind cannot comprehend
For you, my arms will no longer extend
Instead, I will focus on those dear to me
I will throw away the key
The key to my heart