What I've been thinking lately

I'm sorry I've kept things from you and you have to find out
by my writing or my slip of the mouth
I know that I'm not a monster, I fear you'll think I'm one

And you're one bright shining light in my life lately
I've become so disillusioned with everything lately
Like that one girl, the one you mentioned today

And I hate how much I adore you and him
I absolutely hate it
I hate that I love you two

Because we wouldn't have worked out
You two are meant to be
I would have ruined God's will

And I understand why you didn't want to tell me
While I had accepted it at that point
I wasn't at peace
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I can't believe you won't tell me
I don't mind that you have a crush
But it feels like you don't trust me

And I've gotten over you lately
But I felt sick to my stomach
When you told me you didn't want me to interfere
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I feel like I can't fall in love again
But I know I will
I fall in love with everyone

And I feel my words wear out their meaning
Even though every time I say them
I mean them more and more
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You think you're so great?
When all you do is brag about how high you get?
Get off your high horse, you're not great at all

And while people praise you for partying
I despise you
You sicken me