Exercises in Self-Destruction

I shouldn't be left alone
to my own thoughts
words and deeds because
what I've left undone
has been done and done again
in my mind
your manners my mother always
said Jesus "forgive your neighbor up to 70 times 7"
but what if my neighbor has surpassed that amount Lord
Almighty grant me the strength to not gut myself right
now and rip out my insides and stitch myself back
up and show my insides to the world and yell
"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW"
that I always do show my insides by posting links on sites
so that i know people give a shit about
how much I hurt inside and
how awful I feel
and how much my insides torture me
and I wonder if God had made my heart and brain smaller
than actual size, I'd be happy.