Be Happy or Cry Trying

My brain is so fucked up
I can’t be happy
so long as every day I have to sip from a cup
water and medicine that won’t make me act snappy

I don’t think I even like myself
because the only time my family can partially stomach me
is when I am on the highest dosage ever prescribed
but still sometimes I get yelled at and called “bipolar fatass”

I think I have anxiety issues
And I think I have trich
and I’m so fucking depressed
I don’t know what to think

I don’t want to do much else
Except rid myself of these emotions
and I know it’s impossible
Because of how fucked up I am