some times it's just best to (live and let) die

They told me college would be the best four years of your life

I've got three more to go

And I'm supposed to take two different types of medication

So the happy me will the the only one left

I sleep next to a bottle of serotonin to wash down the taste of ritalin in the morning

because water just doesn't do it for me anymore

and sometimes i lie in bed trying to count all of the times i've woken up wishing i were dead

and sometimes i wish i had a blade so i could tally them up

and sometimes i wish i could cry without fear of being judged

because college males are supposed to have the shoulders to cry onto

but mine are soft and often get sweaty

because the thought of what i've done makes me paranoid of being found out

and i wake up with my sheets on the floor because i turned the heat up one too many times

i toss and i turn and i sweat and i cry out

because this is a new type of sadness

and i can't figure it out

"we'll keep in touch"

soon turns into

"hey can you help me out"

and another friend beings to use me

and i hate that they don't realize what they are doing

you're objectifying me

something i once deplored

but as of late i have accepted

i was told that people wish they could love as much as me

i was told it was my best quality

i was told that i would never lose it

i can't fall in love anymore