death of your feelings

i dont know what love means anymore
the definition has become diluted
and i cant stop screaming at my self
while tearing up the floor
of the baseless relationship my life is built upon
she doesnt feel the same way back
she cares but not that much
she doesnt think she can know

i scream to the sky as the last of my life burns down
and i laugh maniacally and begin to cry because im so overdramatic
and i reach up and rip my hair out between disgusting half-breed sobs and laughs
and my scalp starts to bleed
and as i rip the last of my hair out
of my disgusting, wretched head
i collapse on the ground
strewn across the dirt
the rain starts to fall softly
washing away the blood on my head
and forming a pool on the ground
and as my flesh begins to rot
and my eyes sink into my skull
i watch from above
and smile
because now it doesnt hurt anymore

At Least I'm not as Sad as I used to Be

The Reverend Proclaims
They shall burn in hell for being young
Condemning himself to the same fate
as he did the same long ago

And they lounge outside the church
earphones in
heads bopping
cigarettes held loosely between their lips

as the beat begins to build
they unsheathe their weapons
and the drums begin to pound in their heads
and they go numb

and their shivs and knifes
and the guns they stole from the closet
and the baseball bats
start to be used

and they all go insane
and they all go crazy
and they all turn into lunatics
ashes ashes they all fall down

our hearts travel through airwaves

i fall asleep at night
with my face basking
in the soft light
with a message unfinished, but you know what I was asking

"do you love me yet"
after all of this time?
"my dear, do not fret
i love you more than i have loved another, you're sublime"

i awake in a cold sweat
and remember your response
but when i look down, my heart is beset
as my message is still unsent, i just had dreamed of a lover's renaissance

Love

Love is uncertainty because you have no fucking idea what is going to come your way tomorrow but you just grip your partner's hand and ride the wave