Tuesday, January 28, 2014

youre the reason for the bags under my eyes
youre the reason for these fucking night terrors

you are a terror
you fucking disgust me but i cant take my eyes off of you no matter how heavy they are
i am nodding off now returning to a land of failed suicide attempts
perpetually hurting

seventy proves that seventy proof

the prettiest little girl in all of my dreams
who makes me not want to slit my throat
and wrists and chest
and she's real, i tell ya doc, she really really is

she's really really gone for me
what a fuckin' dime

i love her so much doc, i really really do

every time she tells me that she loves me without me telling her i love her
i go to bed with a warm feeling
and i dont know why i wear these tinted glasses she gave me

ive never liked roses before now

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hey doctor d?
why do you think it is that i fell for a gal like her?
why, i outweigh her probably by a time and a half
shes petite and-- hey doc? you listening?

ah, time's up?
see ya next week

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i dont know doc, i just kinda feel like not going into the office. i think ive gone terminal.
i cant move and i lost my appetite. i think im just filling up on liquid all the time.
it hurts to think and my coworkers are wondering where i am.
fuck em they dont get it

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doc i really fucked up i really did
i fucking messed up doctor d
and now shes gone and left me doc she really fuckin did what did i do
doc i dont wanna live

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shes with someone else doc im gonna scream myself hoarse

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the prettiest little girl in all of my nightmares
makes me want to slit my throat
and wrists and chest
and she's a real bitch, i tell ya doc, she really really is

she's really really gone for another guy
what a fuckin' broad

i fuckin hate her so much doc daniels, i really really do

i was so blindly in love that every time she told me that she loved me after i pried it out of her gritted teeth i went and set myself ablaze
and i dont know why i wear these tinted glasses she gave me

i fuckin hate roses, jack, i really fuckin do

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Straddling The Line Between The Ledge And Death

have you ever just wanted to throw your life away
cut your hair off and watch it go down the drain?

circling the endless void
waiting for it to go away?

no amount of pills
or shrinks
or drinking
or smoking
will make this go away

fuck! the greatest curse ever!
literal. metaphorical. hopeful.

lo! when the fuck is it going to be my turn?
I only want what I can't have

I only want to be happy
I only want to be at peace

But incorporating lines from Fall Out Boy
and posting selfies with cocky captions
can only go so far

As far as I know, the peace of mind that I seek
is only for those who haven't been to hell and back

let me jump
let me leap
let me die if only for a minute