Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Imaginary Disease

His mind is sick and tortured;
he cannot communicate with the outside world

He is in solitary confinement;
he cannot move on his own, he needs a tube to breathe

He has become a machine;
his heart is beeping, not beating

He is checked on daily by the finest doctors and physicians;
their reports all say the same thing, "brain dead on arrival"

He wants to break through;
he wants to tell her he loves her


The machine squeaks to a halt;
he is pronounced dead

He is in a room full of crying people standing near a raised box;
he walks over and sees his body, dressed in his Sunday best

He tries to lean on the coffin;
his hands and forearms pass through it

He sighs heavily;
blinking his eyes to stop the tears

He decides to go into the great beyond;
he turns around

He cannot believe his eyes;
she's standing right there

Time suddenly stops;
seemingly unaffected by the pausing of time, she walks forward

Somehow able to see him, she smiles;
I loved you all along, she whispers

He tries to speak;
her finger comes to his lips, silencing him

I know you loved me as well;
she continues to say

You will be at peace;
she kisses his lips lightly

Everything started to fade together;
the faces, the colors, the people, became a bright light

Only her face remained;
he felt a gentle squeeze where his hand used to be

A feeling of warmth washed over him;
he embraced death, and walked into the light


A heaving female body was strewn over a body in a hospital bed;
as a long tone sounded

A man in a white coat announced;
Time of death, 10:01 PM

Sunday, October 21, 2012


Good things in my life don't normally laugh. I'm not talking about having good people, good groups of friends, or people who care about me. I'm talking about happiness. Happiness never sticks with me for long. I was really happy this past week, but then I got rejected 9 different times. I lost my phone. I feel terrible and exhausted. A girl I really like just started dating someone. Everything is slowly going away. I hate it.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Would darkness by any other name be just as frightening?

I walk the city streets alone
Turning up my coat collar as the cold nips at my neck
My breath is visible in front of me
The love of my life is plastered all over the billboards and posters and bus station ads
I can't get her off my mind
I'm a hopeless wanderer.
I asked her to hold me fast, but she said no.
I said I would change, but she said she had enough of my lies.
I tried so hard to live in the truth, but I was lost in the haze of the world.
As I drift from bar to bar, the whiskey's sting in my mouth is the only thing I can feel.
That, and the cold nipping at my neck.
I trudge along, my feet dragging across the ground as I see a happy couple leave a bar and hail a cab.
I smile and remember back to when we used to do the same.
We'd get back and kiss and love and hold each other.
I find myself stumbling to a dark alley, illuminated by a single, flickering orange light.
I walk under it and it begins to die.
I look up and smile and whisper "I'm sorry, old friend," as it flickers and fades to darkness.
I am left in darkness.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

19 Candles Signify 19 Unfulfilled Wishes

1. I have the best friends in the world.
2. I have depression and too many issues to count.
3. I fall in love with just about every girl I meet.
4. My biggest fear is being alone and unwanted.
5. I feel that if I talk to someone too much, they will tire of me and stop being my friend.
6. I love rap music.
7. I absolutely love God and Jesus because they love me no matter how much I screw up.
8. Peterkin is my favorite place in the world.
9. Rian's car is my second favorite place in the world.
10. Leaving my house and going to college is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
11. I can make friends with a lot of different people.
12. I'm a selfish person.
13. I am very shy unless I feel comfortable in front of someone.
14. I tend not to know when I've passed the line.
15. I try to give at least one honest compliment per day.
16. I'm a virgin.
17. I want to be a teacher or author.
18. I still don't have my driver's license.
19. I want to be happy.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Growing Pains

I know that we grow apart every time we meet
And each time we touch, I tremble
But every day hurts
Because I'm soft and I'm weak
Slaughtered day-in and day-out
By the very same thing that brings me great joy

Ripped out and stomped on the ground
I know my weakness which is a great power
And I can't stop using it because it pains me
I have to love because without love, what would I be?
A thoughtless man drowning in a despair-filled sea

Saturday, October 6, 2012

I'm sorry that I feel sorry that you feel sorry that we feel
But it was naïve of me to think my head would remain above my heel

Because when one feels the lighthearted effects of love
It is forgotten that one's head is heavy with depression swimming circles around self-doubt above

Which the self-assured and self-exalted sit, point, and laugh
While some of us drown in financial woes and are impaled by the ever declining bar graph

But don't let this be a tale of fret or dismay
Because "I'm fine" means that my heart is deflating and once more I believe the next girl I see is going to be my fiancé.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Your eyes contain galaxies

The universe shudders in awe at your presence and rapidly grows
in an attempt to contain it
but you are too great.

Your beauty is greater than the loveliest sunrise or the calmest sunset.
The Milky Way is honored to host such a beautiful presence.

Other galaxies try to destroy us out of jealousy and spite
with their black holes of hatred
but we remain and you preserve the basic building block of life; carbon.

Ever since your birth, the Earth's temperature has risen up and up because
you are a star
living on this planet.