Friday, September 28, 2012

This semester is full of tears not spilled

Alone alone is how I’ll always be
No one to care for me or tell me I matter
One should always see
How much they mean to someone else, and to not get any sadder

But I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine
Unfailing like the erosion of the rock by the ocean wave
Forever and ever, over and over (No giving up, this is a sign)
Even though rejection is frightening, I’ll be brave

Put myself out there again and again
Shout my love from the crag
Swim from one end of the River Seine
All over the world until I reach the other end (Listen to my heart, I beg)

Rid myself of all impurities
Build up resistance to these infections and aches and pains
Train myself to dismiss offers of infidelities
As I sit upon my throne of skulls and lies, I watch the world burn while I turn more insane

Hold me closer because I cry inside
I pick at my skin and my hair because all I see when I look in the mirror is imperfections
I drink and make a fool of myself because no one here really gets me and everyday my past self has died
All I can think of is all of the well-intentioned misdirections

I miss last year even though every day I wanted to get out
This year so far, I’m a lot less neurotic and have far fewer irrational fears
I can go out at night and in the city without thinking of being shot, nor are my tear ducts waterspouts
And the drumming grows louder, no longer softened by the once never-ending tears

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