I don't know anymore

I want to write about how I am currently feeling, but I can't get my words down fast enough.
I contradict how I feel constantly.
I don't know whether to laugh or to cry.
I don't know whether to fear or to love.
I don't know if I feel like someone should want me or to feel like no one wants me.
I don't know how to live.
I tell someone that I love them, but after I do, I don't anymore.
I tell someone that I'm okay when I'm not.
I tell someone that everything will turn out alright, but I'm not even sure of my future.
I forget to breathe.
I forget to think.
I forget to remember.
I don't know anymore how I feel, what I know, or who I love.

I just don't know anymore