I lost a dear friend last year. I found out through a Facebook status, and when I confirmed it, I lost it. I retreated into myself. I felt as if all of the good things in the world had suddenly disappeared and would never come back. I cried myself to sleep the next few nights. I wore green, the color I remember him by. I put up a front for everyone else around me, when inside I was extremely sad. I hadn't talked to him recently, and I think I could have helped him find another way to deal with his problems.
When I was at church camp this year, we had a healing service near the waterfall in the woods. I prayed for forgiveness, happiness, healing, patience, and understanding. I prayed for those I had lost in the past years. But for the life of me, I couldn't remember his name. I knew he killed himself, I knew I loved him, and I knew I missed him, but I couldn't remember his name. I racked my brain trying to remember, but I couldn't. I was already crying, but I started crying even harder. I couldn't contain myself. Austin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't remember your name. I love you, and I can't wait to see you in Heaven. I'll be celebrating your life in 9 days again. Happy 18th Birthday, I miss you.